Hey ya'll!! You know those nights where you can't sleep, and you feel like writing? Well, tonight, I'm having one of those nights. And normally when i pen my late night thoughts, it's a bunch of rambling that hardly makes any sense, but it helps to write it down. So, read at your own risk. :)
I've been thinking, When we suffer for the sake of Christ it is an honor!! He gave his EVERYTHING. His whole life until the very point of death. Because of the love He has for us.
Sinners.
Self-centered, murdering, thieving, lying, discontent, lustful, sinners.
We ALL sin. (Romans 3:23)
But, He loved us so much though that He gave up His very life, gladly, so that we may one day live with Him for all eternity. He saw us as precious. Each one of us. He does not look at what I look at, like outward appearance. He looks at our heart and minds. He saw a soul that was precious enough to DIE for. Not only die for, but also suffer agonizing pain that we cannot even fathom today and such hurtful humiliation.
For me.
For you.
He could have easily just breathed whisper for ten thousand angels to come and save Him. But He WANTED to do this!!! Isn't that amazing?! He thought of me when he died on that cross!! He gave me me His everything. He died for me, therefore, I will live for Him!!! Wholly with complete abandon for Christ. So "suffering" on this earth for a small amount of time is such an honor and privilege, that the very thought gives me joy and makes my heart smile.
As I sit here my eyes are opened even more, ALL is GRACE.
Everything, it's all a gift. Even the small things that are there everyday even though we don't notice them. We're too busy. Busy thinking and pining for the things and life we "think" we want. I have EVERYTHING that I need right here. God has never left or forgetten me. My needs are more than met. I have SO much!! Yet, I want more. Whine, that life isn't going "my way".
But, deep down, down in the deepest parts of my soul, is that really what I'm craving? Searching for? More of ME?
No. Things of "me" only satisfy for the moment. I want something more. Something real. Deep, way deep, I want the bread of everlasting life. I want Jesus!! He is the only one who can fill this hunger.
Why do I fight?? He is the King of Kings!
Am I scared? Am I so in love with all the ga ME, that I don't want to let go. Or is it laziness, that I do not strive and seek for Him with the the passion I should?
I didn't even realize I was fighting this. I was comfortable in my christianity. That is scary grounds I was treading on, and I didn't even know it.
And a gew more randomly thoughts then i'll stop. :) I know that when times get harder it must mean, I must be doing at least something right, cause in 1 Peter 4:12-19 it talks about suffering for Christ, and it says we should not be surprised when fiery trials come to test us. If we are not walking in His light why would satan try to make us stumble or fall? He'd already have us on his grasp and he doesn't have to worry about us furthering the kingdom of Jesus. And to be one that makes the devil want so badly to get his hold on is a compliment actually. Cause he knows how much God can do through us, in our weakness by the strength that only comes through Him and Him alone. It scares satan to know that we are Christ's to use as He pleases and the power of God is over us protecting us from the devil who is prowling around trying to eat and devour us.
Okay that was my ramble for the night :)
It's late so g'night ya'll!
Blessings,
<3 Autumn
